We know that children want everything here and now and that they seek to satisfy their desires at all times. We are not born knowing the rules that govern our society or our home. Social skill is learned and depends on what is considered to be a value for each society and family. Therefore, in order to disobey, it is necessary that the child first internalized such rules . This happens at around 2 – 3 years of age. But there is no exact age for the child to begin to demonstrate disobedient behavior. The confrontation with the parents and the rules they dictate already begins even before that. And it is when these attitudes can best be prevented.
Teaching rules and imposing limits with affection and love
The prevention of undesirable behaviors, such as tantrums , disobedience and aggression , and the building of social skills, begin when the child is still a baby. Through a relationship of affection , affection and care . The rules and limits will only be internalized from this link.
Environments in which the child does not receive affection, attention and affection, or in which adults are very reactive to all the child’s behaviors, are conducive for the child to develop unwanted behaviors.
As in tantrum behavior, stubbornness is linked to self – affirmation
But that does not mean that parents should not show their children the limits . It is necessary to present them with the rules that they wish to be fulfilled. This gives children the principle of reality and contributes to them being responsible adults and more adapted to society .
However, it is not enough to teach once and demand that they abide by these rules. It is necessary for the parents themselves to set an example of what they want from their children. Let them speak the same language , so as not to confuse the little one.
How to deal with disobedient children?
When the child already understands the rules, their rights and duties, and yet, always chooses to confront them, whether at home or at school, it is important that parents talk to their children calmly. Putting yourself at the same height, and, mainly, listening to them . Disobedience behavior is often associated with secondary causes. Like the desire for attention, feelings and emotions that the child is unable to cope with, such as fear, anger, sadness; among other causes. In such cases, a good conversation can point out ways for you to resolve the real cause of these behaviors, and if this conversation is not enough, the help of a psychologist can be very helpful.